Truthfully I feel empty right now.
I feel like an aimless wanderer. What I once thought to be important is shaken. I'd define family and friends as the most important things to my life. However, sometimes the ones you think to be important don't need you as much. And sometimes we can hurt each other inadvertently, but deeply. It's the worst when passion is responded with indifference.
Aww, the world as I see it is always pinker than it really is.
Sometimes I'd love to [dwell] myself into learning. Playing guitar, cooking, drawing or programming, or anything. I normally feel very comfortable, and deeply focused on the process of learning. I'd sit there, study for hours without feeling restrained. I'd like to relinquish the world and study a little more.
However, I feel like I'm using learning as a way to runaway, to not have to think about life and people. Still, the questions just come back to me. What am I doing in this world? What is, or should be, my purpose of life?
Time for resolution. I've always repeated to myself that my current goal is becoming stronger and stronger, traveling and seeing the world, stocking up with various experience. Good experience, bad experience, I'd embrace them all, and learn from them all. Everyday I'd question myself, what matters to me? One day, I would be able to find the goal of my remaining life. My goal now is finding the goal of my life.
My goal now is finding the goal of my life.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely the right thing to do.
Search. Search deep within you for the purpose of your life. Once you find it, align all your energies towards achieving it and you will be able to unlock your full potential and make a difference. :-)
Be true to yourself. Everything else will somehow fall in place.
You're extremely gifted. How are you going to use your gifts? Like spiderman says, "with great powers, comes great responsibility". :-)
Co-incidentally I have been feeling the same way for some time now. I couldn't see why I was doing the things I was, and thus started losing interest in everything. Everyday things started to look purposeless. I tried wrestling it by searching for what I really wanted to do, but it didn't come that easy. Then I began tracing out my life from childhood and identifying where things went wrong, why I am so confused and ambivalent all the time. And this must be fixed now, otherwise I'm well on my way to letting everything fall apart.
ReplyDeleteWhat Prof says is true. Be true to yourself, and somehow things will fall in place. You can't see how immediately, but after a period when you look back, you'll know.
Wow. I didn't catch this post earlier, but wow.
ReplyDelete(To be honest - I don't know what else to say, but I'm leaving this comment to say that I'm still reading, keep writing, and I'll be supporting you with whatever it is you try in the future.) =)
@Adhiraj: how are you now? feeling any clearer?
ReplyDelete