Happiness

To be concise, I think I've found my way to happiness. This summer has given me a lot of time to think and test my hypotheses. I am confident to say I have experienced an extreme feeling of freedom and happiness. I think it is important to write it down as a lesson for myself. It is not necessarily true to others, as we are all different; so keep a skeptical look at what I am saying. I am not pretending to be wise here either. After seeing how a 90 year-old successful businessman described himself at the age of 39 as immature and youthful, even though you thought he was extreme impressive already, you realize that there's no time to be really matured. Also, there is no time better than now to say something you want to, because whatever or whenever you said something, later you will find it immature.

Happiness can only be called happiness if you fulfill all 3 conditions:
1. You feel happy internally.
2. It is accepted by the people around.
3. It contributes to the society in some way.

Basically it's that you feel good internally without harm or affect others' right and even more than that, contribute something to make this world a little better place.

The 3rd condition is too grand a point that I think what we can do is doing good deeds, hoping that they will make good impacts on others around, not expecting something great to happen.

The 2nd condition is (for me) the same as the 1st one, because I can't feel happy otherwise.

I call the 1st condition personal happiness. What's called happiness varies on people. For me, it isn't a goal, or a journey. It is a state of mind. I can be in this state all the time, thus ensure that I feel happy all the time. How to describe that state? It's a state that you feel totally free, the freedom of the mind. There is nothing hold you back; there is no obligation. You don't feel feared, anxious, shy, frustrated or any other negative feeling. There is nothing outside push you forward or can drive you toward it. You don't envy with others, because you know you have your own way. Anything you do, you do it because yourself want to, and because of that, you feel comfortable doing all these. Everything is so nature that nothing feel wrong. You live fully as yourself. To an extreme, you feel like flying! Really!

I start by observing people around me, how they react to me, what they need from me and fulfill it if it's important. Of course, not of all people but the ones I care about. If you read other posts, you would realize I am really doing that with my family. My dad said once that I'm more matured, so I think it's a good sign that I am not going wrong. Talk about what I am doing at home, I am preparing meal, talking intimately with my parents and sister, making joke and fun at home. Those things seems to require a lot of effort and dedication. They also seems to against my personality. However, because I realize the need of doing so and take initiative, I do them all with great pleasure and enjoyment. I do them so naturally that I was surprised too.

But I only feel utterly free until I listen to my own need, conquering the negative feelings (more correctly, ignoring). I realize that attachment, fear, anxiety and shyness are the greatest problems. So I stop worrying about others' opinion, ignoring the fear or shyness, rejecting to do things caused by desperation, making fast decision. I act as I think, before the negative feelings can stop me. I reject to be attached to anything, if there is something much more important to do, I can halt and do it first. I stop blaming the environment, or going against it, but accept, study and explore it and find enjoyment in it. I keep smiling regardless of circumstances, keep an optimistic and positive view of things. I start feeling being myself and being free. Completely.

It sounds selfish and reckless, however I combine it with observation and adaption: observe how other reacts to me and adapt. Given that the things I do spur from the environment and my reaction to it, they are not completely absurd. I don't expect my action to be perfect too. At least I feel good inside. To remind you, all I said is to achieve personal happiness, not success. However, I believe happiness is more important. Besides, it doesn't conflict with success. I believe it is an important base to attain success.

Whatever it is, it is what I believe. And what I believe is the only thing that matters. Believing on oneself is also a key to personal happiness =P

To the highest mountain

July will mark the day I conquer the Fansipang mountain, the highest mountain in the Indochina (including Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia). It's 3143m tall. I know, it's cool, right?

This time I will go with a bunch of new friends. I actually found the group in a forum for this kind of travel (there's a particular word describe the kind of traveling - Phuot, meaning kinda reckless, into the nature, or from a sudden inspiration, usually self prepared traveling.) So I joined them! I met them the first time last night (except for a friend of mine who I managed to drag into the group with me). First impression says they are easy going and humorous. A good start.

Why did I do this? I actually asked the people in the group their motivation. Well, first we must admit that it is something quite cool, and a little dangerous too! Going a long way through the jungle, sleeping outside, etc. But the result is promised to be exhilarating and novel. Thus, though till now many groups have climbed the mountain, it hasn't lost its charm. So climbing the mountain is a reckless doing of the youth. A girl in the group wants to climb to the top of the mountain to celebrate her birthday there. Some other friends have just graduated from the universities, so they want it to be kinda the last, peaked act of youth, before start working seriously. How about me? I seek for a new experience, new challenge. I seek for understanding.


The trip will start on 6 July and end on 10 July.