Love

Recently, one of my friends introduced to me about the Myers-Briggs type indicator, a classification of Personality. According to it, I am of the type ISTP, the mechanics. I was surprised when seeing how correctly it described me. Almost perfect! However, I was astonished when reading the part described the emotional, feeling side of an ISTP. I am kind of aware of what is happening with it, however, I have never put down into words or read something that reflects it so closely.
What caught most of my attention was this sentence:

...ISTPs feel strong affections one day at a time. One day, they may feel completely, intensely in love with their mate, and the next day they may be totally disinterested, or perhaps even ready to move on.

It is because ISTPs focus on the present, the current moment the most. They focus on the thing that is happening, the tasks at their hands. They can totally forget about things that are irrelevant to the present. Taking myself as an example, recently, when I met the girl I liked, I felt a strong temptation to go and grab her hand, or hug her tightly. I tempted to confess the deep affection I had. However, right the next day, when I backed at home, sat down in front of my laptop, and started working, I tried to think about her and the temptation I had. Guess what, I couldn’t visualize anything in my mind, I didn’t feel missing her a lot. Instead, I wanted to start working and making progress. However, the feeling would come back intensely when I was done with work, and seeing her or any indication of her presence.

Now that might sound OK, however the problems become worse when I tend to constantly put myself in new tasks, projects, or works, leaving little time to really examine my feelings and extend my arms to others. Last semester I was totally absorbed by 3216’s projects and almost lost all connections to the people outside it. Normally I called back home once a week, however, sometimes I forgot to do so for a month! It wouldn’t be strange if people outside my circle of present feel that I am uncaring, close to myself only (well, my dad criticized me several times). Yet the people within my circle tend to say the otherwise, that I am caring to them!

Even worse than that is the doubt I have about my feeling. I have multiple times questioned myself if I really liked a girl. How so if I wouldn’t miss her much normally. How not so when I feel such a strong affection toward her? The doubt and confusion always cause me a great difficulty in deciding what to do with my feelings. Also, because of it, sometimes I unknowingly hurt other people and myself. I always thought I am a fickle person, whose feelings change inadvertently and uncontrollably. However, 1 article wrote,

In fact, they are not really fickle, and certainly not cold. They simply experience their lives on a moment by moment basis, and go along with its natural flow.

So what? It also wrote:

...most people need more commitment than can be offered when taking things day-by-day

Ok, it feels great to know how and why things happen that way: it’s because of my nature, my personality. At least now I can redirect my attention to solution, instead of hopelessly questioning myself what was wrong with me. So how should I deal with my feeling now? It is suggested that:

Identify and Express Your Feelings. You may have a hard time figuring out exactly how you feel about someone that you're involved with. It's important that you do figure this out. Don't lead someone on with your ambivalence. If you determine that you value the person, tell them so every time you think of it. This is the best way to make them feel secure in your affections, and so to promote a long-lasting relationship.

That means I have to develop a habit of expressing my affections to others... sounds against my nature but I guess it worth trying. Maybe I should spend like 1 hour a day to deal with my feelings specifically. For example, call and talk with whoever appears in my mind during that time?
Last words,

Don't Be Afraid to Love. That's just your old inferior function trying to convince you that you're unloved and unlovable. It's not true. Just because you're not sure what to do with yourself doesn't mean that you can't learn! Go on... jump in. The water's warm.

Source:
http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISTP_rel.html
http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISTP_per.html